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From: Ben Nagy (beniagu.net)
Date: Thu Oct 24 2013 - 01:49:37 CDT
Hi I wroted you a pome.
Old General Alexander
~ by ben
~ with apologies to Lewis Carroll
"You are old, Alexander," said GCHQ,
"and we feel you've become rather slack.
Why, we ourselves just owned the EU
with the Belgacom 0day attack!"
"In our youth," quoth the spook, "we took similar risks,
placing submarine taps in the deep.
But now we just archive the backbone to disk
and then 'hack' with SELECT while we sleep."
"You are old, Alexander, and your clusters too weak
for keys stronger than 56 bits;
Yet you crack all the codez with some secret technique -
tell us, how do you manage to do it?"
"You see, crypto," he chortled, "is all about trust,
from software to the code on the cores.
But no-one did the math, they just left it to NIST,
so we riddled it all with backdoors!"
"You are old, Alexander." GCHQ insisted,
"You should focus on external threats;
Yet you spy everywhere, like an addict - it's twisted!
Use your budget to pay down the debt!"
"In our youth," he said, grinning,
"We subsisted on scraps, rolling up commie agents for Dick.
But, since 9-11 - black money on tap!
Why the hell would we quit now we're winning??"
"You are old, Alexander, must we point out once more,
and your Agency leaks like a sieve;
And now Snowden has walked half your docs out the door
and gone back to Russia to live!"
"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,
Said the General; "don't give yourself airs!
Even Congress got nothing but lies on this stuff,
Now be off, or I'll kick you down-stairs!"
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